Of coming to a new country…
It will be 15 years in May, since I came to America and I wanted to share some of my experiences today.
During the "honeymoon period", I didn't really care what I was doing, where I was going?, what would be my purpose of migrating to a new country. I was basically in the marital bliss phase. Until I landed in Birmingham, Alabama and my whole life flashed before my eyes. I had so many things running in my mind but one of the things that kept running on an infinite loop was “how will I find a job?” “What will happen to my career, in this phase of recession, and who will sponsor my work visa?”
Growing up in a city like Mumbai (very much like NYC), I didn't have a car or even needed a car to get around the city. I had to figure out who would teach me how to drive. The only thing that got me through those first few months was waking up and watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
My husband had a lot of good friends there and 1 of the friends happened to be in advertising. He helped me get an interview at the agency he worked at, and gave me the best advice - networking. While I got the job, they couldn't sponsor my visa at the time so I took networking so seriously that I used to call a yellow cab and go to all kinds of marketing and advertising networking events. In one of the networking events, 1 person spoke to me and heard how nervous I was and he said to me "I'll be your buddy and I'll introduce you and break the ice for you and you can network." He stood with me throughout the process and that helped me gain my confidence. I then decided to go and get my second Masters degree at the University of Alabama to give time for the recession phase to fade.
I am blessed to have met some amazing and wonderful people back in Alabama. They made me feel like home and they welcomed me and just showed up for us during both good days and bad days!
I am sure times have changed now from where it was 15 years ago but I am sharing some points down below which I hope might help someone who moved here permanently on a "dependent visa" and is scared, worried and has been through or is going through a major culture shock, as they navigate life in a new country!
1. Doing your own thing:
Having a career path or something to do to keep you occupied. Trust me! it gets boring after a while when you don’t see too many people walking outside. There are options to explore these days being an influencer or a home cook that delivers food, if you are good at drawing, painting, pottery, dance, singing or any form of art, do something to have your own income and your own outlet that makes you feel like saying “I did something good today!”
2. Network, network, network:
Meet new people, join a meet up group based on the industry you’d like to focus in or join a local group such as Real Roots or Girl Gang City or a book club (if you like reading and sharing your thoughts with other book-loving people) or join a gym. These are a few ways to meet new people, share your experiences, stories, food and culture.
3. Driving Lessons:
If you live in a very small town where there are absolutely no driving schools, then there should be high school teachers who might be willing to teach you how to drive or ask a friend who is willing to teach you driving. I learnt early on to avoid taking driving lessons from my husband. It leads to more arguments! :)
4. Online Learning:
Take an online course depending on what interests you.
5. It is ok to ask for help when you feel lost!
6. Being independent is part of your identity.